Why do some Japanese guys try to look feminine? Don't the girls find it gross?

In Japanese culture, the concept of masculinity and what is considered attractive in men differs significantly from Western norms, particularly those in the United States.

Japanese Ideals of Masculinity

Japanese ideals of masculinity are more nuanced and allow for a broader range of expressions. Instead of the hypermasculine image of a muscular, hairy man, Japanese culture often values characteristics such as being handsome, cute, or cool. The categories of bishōnen (beautiful boys), biseinen (beautiful men), kakkoii (cool), and kawaii (cute) are prominent in defining Japanese masculinity1.

Attractive Traits in Japanese Men

Traits that are considered attractive in Japanese men include a low voice, well-fitted clothes, slender yet strong bone structure, and a certain style of hair that looks effortlessly messy. Additionally, having a passion or expertise in a particular area, even if it is not traditionally masculine, is seen as attractive2.

Acceptance of Androgynous Appearance

Japanese culture has a long history of accepting androgynous and gender-bending appearances. Men who wear makeup, dye their hair, and adopt fashion styles that might be considered feminine in other cultures are not necessarily seen as deviating from masculine norms. Instead, these behaviors are often viewed as part of a broader, more flexible definition of masculinity13.

Contrast with Western Norms

In contrast to Western cultures, where muscularity and traditional masculine traits are often highly valued, Japanese culture tends to view highly muscular men as less desirable or even intimidating. Some Japanese individuals may find muscular foreign men (gaijin) to be intimidating or unattractive, and there are instances where they might be treated with suspicion or hostility4.

Cultural Perspective

It is important to note that the Japanese perspective on masculinity is not about being feminine or effeminate but rather about a different conception of what it means to be masculine. Japanese men who exhibit traits that would be considered feminine in other cultures do not see themselves as deviating from traditional masculinity; instead, they are simply expressing their masculinity in a way that is culturally acceptable and valued1.