What's it like to be married to a pornstar?
Being married to a pornstar can be a complex and unique experience, as highlighted in several accounts:
Acceptance and Understanding
For many, the initial challenge is acceptance. Katy Bampton, who is married to porn star Robbie Oz, initially judged Oz's career but eventually came to understand and accept it, attributing her initial reactions to societal conditioning1.
Emotional and Energetic Distinctions
Robbie Oz distinguishes between the physical act of sex at work and the emotional connection he has with his wife. He describes the sex he has at work as more about the "energetic exchange" rather than a physical or emotional connection, which helps in maintaining a clear boundary between his work and personal life1.
Practical Considerations
Practical aspects such as health and safety are crucial. Robbie Oz gets tested for STIs every two weeks and wears a condom 90% of the time while working, which helps alleviate some of the health concerns associated with his profession1.
Social and Family Reactions
The reactions of friends and family can vary widely. Some may not understand or may judge, while others may be more accepting. Katy Bampton mentioned that some of her friends and family are baffled by their situation, but she has learned to navigate these reactions1.
Emotional Impact on the Partner
Ethan, the husband of porn star Lady Fyre, experiences mixed emotions. While he supports his wife's career and watches her movies to show support, he sometimes feels uncomfortable thinking about her interactions with other men. However, he emphasizes that their personal sex life is separate and that he prioritizes her happiness and well-being2.
Communication and Trust
Open communication is key. Couples in such relationships often need to have frank discussions about their feelings, boundaries, and the nature of the work involved. Richard De La Mora, who married ex-porn star Brittni De La Mora, had to navigate her extensive sexual past, including over 200 films and other aspects of her previous life. He emphasized the importance of acceptance, grace, and open communication in overcoming the challenges associated with her past3.
Personal and Spiritual Growth
For some, spiritual or personal growth plays a significant role. Richard De La Mora's acceptance of Brittni's past was deeply rooted in his faith and the belief that she was a "new creation in Christ." This spiritual perspective helped him navigate the complexities of her past and build a strong, supportive relationship3.
In summary, being married to a pornstar involves a high degree of acceptance, open communication, and a clear understanding of the boundaries between work and personal life. It also often requires navigating social and family reactions, managing personal emotions, and sometimes finding support through spiritual or personal growth.