What it is like to be cheated upon in a relationship?

Being cheated on in a relationship can be an intensely traumatic and emotionally debilitating experience, affecting various aspects of a person's life and mental health. Here are some key aspects of what it might be like:

Emotional Turmoil

The discovery of infidelity often triggers a complex and overwhelming mix of emotions. These can include feelings of betrayal, hurt, devastation, anger, sadness, and confusion. The betrayed partner may experience a profound sense of loss and emptiness, along with intense anger and a deep-seated need to understand the reasons behind the infidelity35.

Immediate Reactions

The initial reaction can be extreme, with symptoms such as panic attacks, shaking, and intense crying. The emotional shock can be so severe that it may lead to physical reactions like a racing heart and shaking hands2.

Long-Term Psychological Effects

Infidelity can lead to long-term psychological impacts, including:

• Anxiety and Stress: Heightened anxiety and stress are common, with fears of future betrayals or intrusive thoughts about the infidelity15.
• Depression: Symptoms of depression, such as sadness, loss of interest in activities, and feelings of hopelessness, can arise. The emotional aftermath can be emotionally draining and lead to a sense of despair135.
• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and PTSD-like Symptoms: The experience can be traumatic, leading to symptoms similar to PTSD, including flashbacks, nightmares, and hyperarousal. This is sometimes referred to as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD)35.

Impact on Self-Esteem and Trust

Infidelity can significantly erode self-esteem and trust. The betrayed partner may feel embarrassed, naive, and less confident, especially if they had been unaware of the infidelity and had defended their partner to others. Trust issues can be long-lasting, affecting not only the current relationship but also future relationships235.

Social and Emotional Isolation

The experience can lead to feelings of isolation, with the person questioning everything they believed about their relationship and themselves. There may be a fear of judgment from others, and the person may feel embarrassed about explaining the situation to friends and family24.

Cognitive and Behavioral Changes

Infidelity can cause significant cognitive and behavioral changes, including overthinking and intrusive thoughts about the infidelity. This can disrupt daily life, impacting how one shows up for work, personal responsibilities, and other relationships. Certain situations or triggers can revive strong emotions like anger or hurt even after some time has passed4.

Healing and Recovery

Recovery from infidelity is a complex and often lengthy process. It may involve seeking therapy to process emotions, manage anxiety and stress, and address depression. Building a support network of friends and family can be crucial in healing. The process can be likened to the stages of grief, with phases of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually acceptance15.

In summary, being cheated on is a deeply personal and painful experience that can have profound and long-lasting effects on mental health, self-esteem, and trust. It requires a supportive environment and often professional help to navigate the emotional aftermath and work towards healing and recovery.