What Is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse and manipulation where the abuser seeks to control the victim by eroding their confidence, sanity, and trust in their own perceptions, memories, and judgment.

Key Characteristics

• Manipulation of Reality: Gaslighters distort reality by denying previous agreements or events, telling the victim that they are imagining things, or making them doubt their own memories and perceptions235.
• Power and Control: The primary goal of gaslighting is to gain power and control over the victim, often by creating an imbalance in the relationship. This can occur in romantic relationships, family dynamics, workplaces, or any other context where there is an unequal power dynamic234.
• Types of Gaslighting: There are several types of gaslighting behaviors, including:
  • Outright Lying: Denying facts even when evidence contradicts them.
  • Coercion: Using force, punishment, or threats to manipulate.
  • Scapegoating: Deflecting blame onto someone else.
  • Reality Questioning: Making the victim question their own sanity or memory.
  • Trivializing: Minimizing the victim’s feelings or experiences24.

Impact on the Victim

• Mental Health Effects: Gaslighting can lead to feelings of powerlessness, confusion, isolation, disorientation, and low self-esteem. Victims may experience anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues234.
• Loss of Trust: Victims often lose trust in themselves and their ability to make decisions, leading them to rely heavily on the abuser34.

Origins and Examples

• Etymology: The term "gaslighting" comes from the 1938 play and 1944 film "Gaslight," where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is mentally ill to gain control over her assets235.
• Examples: Common examples include a partner denying previous conversations or actions, a supervisor undermining an employee's credibility, or a family member making someone doubt their own memories or perceptions234.

Recognizing and Responding

• Subtle Beginnings: Gaslighting often starts subtly and can be difficult to recognize immediately. It may begin with an initial "honeymoon period" in relationships where no abusive behavior is evident34.
• Seeking Help: Victims can seek help by reaching out to trusted individuals, seeking professional support, and documenting incidents to maintain a clear record of events23.

Gaslighting is distinct from other forms of manipulation or conflict in that it involves a persistent pattern of behavior aimed at undermining the victim's autonomy and self-trust.