If New Yorkers are so tough, why do guys rarely if ever go up to girls and introduce themselves while sober?

The phenomenon of men in New York City rarely initiating introductions to women, especially while sober, can be attributed to several factors inherent in the city's dating culture and lifestyle:

Dating Culture and Competition

New York City is known for its competitive and often transactional dating scene. The city's high population, particularly with a significant imbalance where there are more women than men in Manhattan, creates a competitive environment that can make men less inclined to take the initiative. This competition gives men a dating advantage, allowing them to be more selective and less hurried to settle down13.

Lifestyle and Time Constraints

Many people in New York City lead demanding lives, with long work hours, high stress levels, and high living costs. This leaves little time for forming meaningful relationships, making casual encounters and hookups more common. The fast-paced lifestyle can discourage men from making the effort to initiate relationships in a traditional manner1.

Hookup Culture

The prevalent "hookup culture" in New York City also plays a role. This culture often prioritizes casual encounters over meaningful connections, which can reduce the incentive for men to approach women with the intention of starting a serious relationship13.

Changing Roles and Expectations

Traditional dating dynamics have been altered in progressive cities like New York, where women are often more aggressive in making the first move. This role reversal can make men less likely to take the initiative, as they may not feel the need to do so or may be uncertain about how to navigate these new dynamics1.

General Dating App Culture

The widespread use of dating apps in New York City can also contribute to this behavior. Apps like Bumble, Hinge, and others facilitate connections without the need for in-person initiations, further reducing the likelihood of men approaching women in public settings5.

In summary, the combination of a competitive dating scene, demanding lifestyles, a prevalent hookup culture, changing traditional roles, and the reliance on dating apps all contribute to why men in New York City might rarely go up to girls and introduce themselves while sober.