Do parents really love all their kids equally?

The question of whether parents love all their kids equally is complex and can be approached from several angles.

Love vs. Liking

It is important to distinguish between loving and liking. Many parents acknowledge that they love all their children equally, but they may not like them the same way all the time. This distinction is highlighted in the Reddit discussion where a parent admits to loving their kids equally but not liking them the same, due to differences in their children's personalities and behaviors1.

Unique Love for Each Child

Parents often express that they love their children uniquely, each for their own special qualities and characteristics. This means that while the depth of love may be equal, the way it is expressed and experienced can vary significantly from one child to another. For example, one parent described loving her children differently, with each child filling her soul with something special in their own way4.

Emotional and Circumstantial Factors

The emotional and circumstantial context in which children are born and raised can also influence how parents feel about them. A mother shared her experience of having a daughter she had planned for and a son who was born during a difficult time in her life, leading to different initial emotional responses to each child. However, she ultimately found profound love for both children, though in different ways4.

Communication and Perception

It's also crucial to consider how children perceive their parents' love. Telling children that they are loved equally might not be as meaningful as explaining how they are uniquely loved. A parent shared an approach from the book "Siblings Without Rivalry," which suggests that being loved uniquely is more significant than being loved equally, as it acknowledges each child's individuality2.

General Consensus

While not every parent may have a favorite child, many acknowledge that their feelings towards their children can vary. However, the consensus is that parents can love all their children deeply and equally, even if they do not like them the same way all the time. The key is in understanding that love can be expressed and felt differently for each child134.